this illness seems to double back

I had a great day yesterday.

I used my normal asthma inhaler...Advair disc...only once, in the morning, and then not again not even to go to bed.

I slept well all night.

I didn't feel the least bit feverish or lightheaded all day or evening.

I had a glass of wine and sat with Rob in the late afternoon sun yesterday afternoon in the back yard.

Nina brought the puppy to her father's to let him play with their Wheaten Terrier.

Nina returned still weakened by whatever it is we have, but happy she let the dog play.

Her father is a doctor and she's been visiting him every week since before this all started.

They only meet outside for the dogs and they don't get close to each other at all.

But what are we all to do?

When I was in the emergency room, the intake person, in a visor and mask and special covered suit, put on just for my examination, asked me a question.

The intake person asked me, "Have you been out of the country recently? Have you been to China?"

This was three days ago.

In Minnesota.

The guy was reading off of an intake questionnaire.

I wanted to make light of his question but I just said no.

But if it had been a comedy skit instead of absurd real life, I would have answered differently.

It would have been fun to say, "China? You're asking me in the end of March 2020 if I was recently in China?"

Nobody in Minnesota has gone to China since 2020 began, one can confidently conclude.

It's a very outdated thing, in my opinion, a very out of touch thing, to ask me if I'd recently been to China.

Dude, what planet are you on?

I would have liked to have said that.

If I'm going to die of this I would say it just to humor myself.

But I will NOT die of this, and so I have to maintain my good Karma.

I can only say that they might as well change the form to read, "Have you been to Trader Joe's down the street from your house? Have you been to Aldi? Have you been to Cub Foods?"

It really doesn't take much to get it now.

We're all in it.

There's no point in asking where you've been.

Rant over.

My son is in Santa Fe, NM this morning.

He's driving his 2007 Subaru across the desert to come home.

He left Laguna Beach, his beautiful girlfriend of many years, his wonderful job at his promising company, now bailing water like a sinking ship, firing almost all of their employees last week.

My beautiful young son, so full of promise, so full of life, at twenty-three.

He's healthy so far, thank God.

He called me this morning, waking up in Santa Fe, the Sky Coffee shop is operating with a little walk up window on the sidewalk.

He walked to the Our Lady Of Guadalupe Mission with his coffee just now.

My music video of the Danny Whitten song "I Don't Want To Talk About It" was filmed there last year around this time.

My son talked to me about Georgia O'Keefe just now.

She was born in Madison, WI as was I.

She studied in Chicago, my hometown.

She studied in NYC, as did my boy.

She bought an adobe house in Santa Fe after her husband died in 1946.

She died there at ninety-eight in 1882.

What a life you can lead if you are bold and brave and you survive all that is thrown at you by Fate.

Georgia O'Keefe famously said that she was terrified every day of her life but she didn't allow that to keep her from doing anything she wanted to do.


My boy has been accepted to the University of Minnesota for the MFA in Art and Design.

He's been given a teaching assistant position too.

It's for three years and starts this Fall.

But he wanted to come home and be by his family.

His girlfriend still has her job.

She will come here eventually as well.

They met here.

In high school.

They started their relationship last year after going separately through all the years of college.

I hope they continue together.

It's a very romantic story I think.

We have so much to live for, all of us, together, you and I and all of us! 

Let your fires burn bright!

Today, for whatever weird reason, I have a fever again.

I have no idea why.

The strange feeling at the top of my back as if the monkey on my back is this rude and wild virus that doesn't know how to act.

All the viruses I've ever had in my life conducted themselves in a simple and honest linear way.

You get sick, you get worse and worse, and then you realize it's over and you get better each day until you are back to 100%.


Not this.

This virus decides to circle back and revisit it's recent path through your body, see if it can do more, see if it can wear you down.

You will not win with me you bastard.

I am strong and tough and old enough to know better than to be tricked by your false departure.

I see that you are still here using me as a host and I will not be lulled into a false sense of health.

I will fight you today and I will win again.

I will fight you with rest and good nourishment and my new albuterol inhaler and I will never set foot in the ER again because of you.

I will live to ride my bicycle and walk my puppy this summer.

I will live to tour across the country.

I will live to sing, to make new songs into new recordings.

I am in the fight and I know how to be a fighter.

You can fight with your eyes closed and the covers pulled up over your face.

I will fight this way today.

Love to you all.


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