this better work

I have exactly enough money to get to Akron, NY today!

I feel very lucky that I'm able to do this solo tour to Upstate New York.

I accepted the first invitation over a year ago to be a part of the songwriter series that meets this coming Thursday night.

I knew I wanted to return to this area where I had done shows.

I knew there were at least a couple of indie radio stations that would want to hear about what I'm doing.

I knew there were a handful of fans, or more, who'd be happy to have me come back.

So, is it about these facts?

Are these adventures about these facts?

Or are these adventures actually pacts and bargains and tests we're exchanging with God, with the Universe?

Am I pushing and pulling and stretching the fibers of the known and the unknown, the possible and the impossible?

Am I making the loaves and fishes last way beyond the original number that never could have fed so many?

Am I turning the water into wine at this point in a life of hardscrabble decisions and missed targets.

I go so that I can get up above the everyday.

I am sitting in a Starbucks, just like all the other Starbucks in the world, but actually not, because the music is different in different regions.

This is Portage, Indiana near the Indiana Dunes.

They're playing the Rolling Stones.

They have sort of Southern accents.

They call me "Hon".

I'm wearing my long red plaid patchwork grunge skirt with my tied up Bob Dylan t shirt, my Lucky Brand guitar charms necklace, my cropped black leather jacket and my black leather trimmed black wool beret.

Orange/red lipstick.

I have my portable office in a Doubleday canvas tote with pink leather handles that consists of my laptop, my punk pins and charms covered little purse, my small fabric bags from Free People filled with writing pens and blank Moleskine books.

On this tour I'm definitely gonna write this blog every day.

I'm alone and this is my lifeline.

To you, to God, to myself, to my integrity.

Last night I checked in to my hotel.

You get what you get for seventy bucks.

Then I crossed the parking lot on foot and went in to the bar there.

People smoked right up at the bar sitting on stools, ashtrays lined the bar.

I walked in and sat down on a barstool and the young pretty female bartender immediately slid a big black ashtray right in front of me with a nice welcoming smile. Ha! There you go!

And you thought the whole world is the same, and everything's the same everywhere you go?

Not in Portage, Indiana.

I proceeded to get totally into it and I drank two glasses of their nice little chilled white wine in individual bottles which is actually good because since people don't order wine very often probably at least it isn't a half gone old bottle sitting around.

I got the onion rings because when I was little I thought onion rings were really special.

I got the barbeque wings because the girl told me they're really good.

I spent $40 with the tip.

Sort of a disaster.

That was sort of the money for the whole day tomorrow food and drinks wise.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Eight hours of driving and scared of the hotel, and scared of being alone, and I just made weird bad choices.

I'm not going to beat myself up over it but it was stupid.

At least I didn't suddenly take up smoking!

I'm up and writing at the coffeeshop and it's only 8:30am so I'm okay, but my body that's sitting in a car for two eight hour days right now did not need a basket of onion rings.

Regrets.

The money, the calories, the unhealthy choices, the alcohol.

Sitting and breathing the second hand smoke.

I just didn't want to go sit in the hotel room.

I was too uncertain of my surroundings in the dark to go for a much needed and healthier walk.

Whatever.

Welcome to my life.

Today I plan to drink coffee and then water and then a smoothie of fresh greens and fruits.

Then a salad when I reach Akron, NY tonight.

That's the plan let's see if I can stick to it.

I might just pull into a Wendy's and eat a giant sliced beef sandwich...no...honestly..that has never happened and never will happen.

Okay, love from the road.

I can't wait to fire up my Guyatone with my Orange amp.

That's gonna be the highlight of this tour is that I get to bring my own amp which never happens if I fly instead of drive.

Advantages.

Many advantages.

Love.

Gratitude.

Miracles everywhere we look.

Keep the faith and the miracles keep rolling.

 

2 comments

  • Jeff
    Jeff
    Glad to see that your Europe tour was successful. Enjoy your time as an artist in residence!

    Glad to see that your Europe tour was successful. Enjoy your time as an artist in residence!

  • Josephine Lane
    Josephine Lane
    It will work. I admire you so much for having the guts to do this all by yourself.

    It will work. I admire you so much for having the guts to do this all by yourself.

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