I'm going to think rich for the rest of 2019 and for all of 2020.
"You have to think like you're already rich. Dwelling on poverty will keep you in poverty", this guy named Wallace D. Wattles wrote in his groundbreaking volume called The Science Of Getting Rich in the late 1800's.
The only way I know how to think like you're already rich is to have gratitude.
If you're taking stock of your many blessings, you aren't dwelling on your poverty.
Mister Wattles recommends this as well.
Industrialization and technology may have changed the world drastically, but Mister Wattles' ideas about how to manage your thoughts and live a bountiful life have not changed.
God has not changed.
The metaphysical world and how it works has not changed.
Get your head in the right place and all good shall follow.
"I lift my eyes, the clouds grow thin
I see the blue above it
And day by day this pathway clears
since first I learned to love it
the peace of God restores my soul
a fountain ever streaming
all things are mine because I am loved
how can I keep from singing
how can I keep from singing"
So yesterday's post on this blog has had an outpouring of responses.
Read it so you understand, but the basic idea is I gave up on a weekly gig I was doing as a security blanket, but which in factual reality every week was not providing financial security at all and psychologically was undermining to my confidence as a performer.
It was every week though so it was something instead of a blank calendar.
What I want to say today about all that is that my blank calendar for December, during the holidays, is terrifying to me.
How will I pay the utility bills that are my responsibility at Rob's house?
How will I pay the several monthly debt repayment bills I have that I am determined to pay off in the next couple years, never to revisit again?
How will I buy food and gasoline?
How will I survive?
Well, the most important thing to say is that what I was doing was barely working anyway and what I want to do will be more and better.
I need a month of nothing to send out all the applications for all the concert series and folk festivals.
I need a month of nothing to write my new songs and finish them so I can make a new album somehow next year.
But here's the important part:
the answers to these "how" questions is not between myself and my readers and fans to solve.
The answers to these "how will I survive" questions is between me and my God.
I am one of the beautiful lilies of the field, so are you, and they don't sit around worrying and being ungrateful.
If you've made it this far, how dare you question the benevolence of your Maker?
I get this now.
I got a full scholarship to Macalester College when I was eighteen because I had run away and was living alone in a deserted cabin on the Canadian border.
The principal of the high school up there sent me with a Greyhound round trip ticket to visit that one college where he knew the head of the English Department.
I only applied to that one school.
I only went to that one interview.
I got a full scholarship: room, board, and tuition.
Read my first novel to get the full effect.
But my point is, how dare I not have one hundred percent faith that my path is clear and I can confidently walk forward into the unknown of the coming day?
I used to not have this very well thought through.
I don't necessarily have it all that well thought through now either, but I like it.
Human beings all know what's right in life, whether we can do it or not.
Whatever the words I wrote yesterday added up to, the essence of the decision I made touched many people.
A decision to say no brought congratulations.
And no one ever wrote to me telling me I should quit that gig before.
But when I quit they congratulated me.
When I went to my last counseling session that I ever attended with my last husband, after eight years of counseling and fifteen years of marriage, I told the counselor and my husband that I was never coming to a session again.
I told them both that I was leaving the marriage, that I was just done.
Enough was enough.
The female counselor who I had always admired for her professionalism and wisdom got sort of emotional and said, "Oh Courtney, I'm so proud of you."
I walked out of there that day, being the brat that I was, saying to myself, "If she's so proud of me, then how come she didn't just tell me to leave him eight years ago and save us all this grief and time and money? When was she going to tell me to leave him? Never?"
But of course now I see.
Maybe nobody knows where your heart lies and where your head's at until you call it.
Only you can say you've had enough.
And then everybody sees it and everybody is there with you, but it's your call.
And no one does owe you anything.
You must manifest the change you want in your life and in your world.
Manifest it by being grateful and manifest it by approving of yourself.
Manifest it by daring to envision your exact dream life.
Manifest it by doing the things a person does who is living the dream life you envision.
In my dream life, a person writes a daily blog, writes new songs, applies for great performance opportunities, and then goes out there and does a great wonderful job giving the audiences a meaningful experience.
Dream life, here I am.
I am living it.
Love to you my friend, where ever you are on the only path that is yours to follow.