What if I told you that I think my ability to succeed with my music is now more about my pact with God and the Universe than it is about winning people over?
Would you agree or disagree?
I am seeing that the more I love what I'm doing....playing with my bandmates at the Turf Club on Friday night, playing solo on the vineyard patio yesterday....the more I love the songs, my guitar, my opportunity to sing, my situation, the way I look, the people in front of me who are taking the time to listen...the more I love it, the more they love it.
I can love it more because I'm learning to be grateful every minute.
I'm learning to appreciate every single thing in my sphere at any moment.
Every problem is an arrow pointing me towards a new improved creative solution, a better way.
Every problem has a sign hanging on it that says "there's got to be a better way".
I'm in love with my life.
I used to think that on Lake Vermilion as a young girl.
Ever since I started playing guitar at age ten, when it was summertime and I was up at my Grandpa's cabin on Lake Vermilion, I would bring my little square quilt to sit on down to the old wooden dock, I'd bring a notebook to write my songs in, I'd bring my guitar, and I'd bring my flute. I'd sometimes load up the canoe with these things and paddle out to a quiet uninhabited inlet of wild natural shoreline where nobody could see me or hear me or find me, and sing like it was fucking Woodstock. I loved my life then and I love it now.
I think I'm right about this, and maybe it just seems like an obvious point not worth making, but to me it is an entire paradigm shift.
It means that my mind is on gratitude and love for the moment, gratitude and love of the people listening.
It means that I can look them in the eyes and know that we can revel together in the beauty of the moment that has brought us together.
I used to close my eyes to try to sing better on stage because I was afraid to look at the people regarding me with judgement and skepticism.
Authenticity may come from your pact with your God already being in place before you ever open your mouth as a singer.
"...all things are mine 'cause I am loved, how can I keep from singing?"
I've been singing this old hymn at every show lately, well, not at the Turf Club, since it was a short opening set and Hymns wasn't really the vibe of the night.
I open my mouth now with the feeling that I have the privilege of being on the microphone right then and that I have something to share that I love more than anything else I know how to do.
I look at the people and I think, "aren't we all lucky to be doing this together right now?"
Yesterday I finished my three hour patio show and a man who had been listening for the last several songs approached me.
He introduced himself as one of the owners of the vineyard.
I told him right away how much I loved their beautiful place, the grounds, the people, everything about it was so natural and uncommercial, very lovely.
I said, "I'm so impressed with your wonderful vineyard."
He said, "Well, we're so impressed with you."
I love that.
He said they'll be having me back more often.
He gave me a nice bottle of white wine to bring home, and a nice paycheck.
People bought my CDs, my books, my vinyl records.
I love my life.
Today I have a day off and I'm going to work on the back garden at Rob's house.
Tomorrow I begin my July residency at the 56 Brewing Company!
I love my life. I want you to love yours too.
Have a beautiful Sunday.