So, in the past few days I've had to pay out almost eight hundred dollars in unexpected fees.
One was the second offense (the first being in 2014) of talking on a cell phone while driving, for $362.
The other was a small scratch, less than an inch or two, truly, on a German Hertz Rental car, that turned into a long drawn out situation, and ended yesterday through an American collection agency saying I owed them $780 but that they'd settle on the spot for half of that.
I did it.
I paid it all with my Paypal credit line that I had used for my plane tickets to Europe last year.
I paid that off and have been planning to use the line of credit again for upcoming touring expenses.
It'll all work out.
How do I know?
Yesterday I went to the free meditation class I signed up for at the Lutheran church near my home.
In the meditation there was a story from the Christian Bible about a woman who was hemorrhaging for twelve years.
Well, the meditation guide asked us who we think we are in the story.
I am the woman who hemorrhaged for twelve years, and twelve years exactly.
And now I am touching the robe of Jesus and the hemorrhaging is ended.
I'm not going to take sides about Jesus with the rest of the world.
I'm just going to choose to be a follower of the teachings of Jesus and let everybody else decide who they're gonna serve.
It may be the Devil or it may be the Lord but you're gonna have to serve somebody.
I'm serving Jesus once and for all this Christmas.
I'm over my years of sitting on the fence saying, "well, you know, there are so many different ways to look at it."
There are, but that's not my problem.
I'm going to embrace Christmas and the Birth of Jesus Christmas story.
Because I love it and I want to allow myself to love it.
So my apologies to all who are not embracing of that narrative, for many different reasons of birthplace, family background, other beliefs.
I am not disrespecting anyone.
I love all the great religions of the world.
But I can't be a Unitarian and go around saying that I respect them all, utilize them all, study them all.
I am just going with my Lutheran heritage, my Catholic heritage, my watered down Christian heritage.
I'm not a fanatic.
I want everyone to be free to worship their God and Gods and Goddesses in their own ways.
And I want to be unselfconscious in my worship of my idea of God and Jesus.
In my book Jesus was inclusive and kind.
That's where I'm going this Christmas.
And I will take the risk of Faith.
I will risk being a fool.
I will risk being old fashioned.
I will risk being romantic and naive.
I will sing Christmas songs with joy and love and not squabble over the facts versus the fiction.
I just wanna be happy and I want to believe in the light of the world because the world needs a great light.
And my twelve years of spiritual hemorrhaging will be ended today.
I am going to keep one finger touching the robe of Jesus.
I will live in abundance and joy from this day forth.
I have nothing to fear.
All things are mine because I am loved.
How can I keep from singing?