Seven times as lucky as the girl I used to know,
Seven times as lucky as that girl.
That song is from my album Beautiful Lonely I think.
It's a nice song and I play it pretty often now.
The last verse says...
"So let the sun flow through your fingertips
warm on your hands in the afternoon
The ice is gone and the summer's come
I know you never dreamed the Sun would come again...."
I never dared to dream the Sun would come again and I'd be back down on the dock and out in the canoe and swimming in the clear water.
I did dream it, but it seemed like the summer days would never be the same for me now that I had lived through the treacherous winter.
Now that I had seen the brutal force of the ice, how it heaved and groaned and threw massive arcs up onto the shore, taller than me in places.
My God, now that I'd seen what my lake could do, how would I ever see it as gentle and joyful again?
We all see the brute force of the creations we love at one time or another.
I've seen dogs I love get very vicious.
I've seen men I love be violent.
I've seen myself as an ugly mean spirited person, as a cruel mother, as a bitter and uncaring friend.
We have to learn to forgive others and ourselves, but we also have to learn to have zero tolerance for cruelty in ourselves.
I am adopting Rob's zero tolerance mentality for our household.
I see the light now on this subject.
Ever since we got the Virus we have been in one hundred percent tenderness and kindness mode.
I thought it was too much to ask of anyone.
I have a song of mine that says "I got mean streak wide as the Great Divide"...(Billy Collins is the name of the song, maybe from Beautiful Lonely too?)
It's true, I do.
When your own mother treats you like shit all the time you get mean, but it's still no excuse.
Zero tolerance for hostility, cruelty, violence.
If I can do it anybody can.
Seven times as lucky as the girl I used to know.
You make your luck.
You make it out of following the signs and by obeying the signs.
You make it out of reigning in your bullshit and treating others the way you would want to be treated.
I feel like the lucky woman I never thought I'd become.
I got my new bikini in the mail yesterday and it's worth every dollar I paid for it.
I love it.
I feel like a glamour queen on the Riviera when I put it on.
Rob likes it too.
Tomorrow night's my first Front Porch Concert!
I'm very excited because almost all the ten reserve spots have been purchased.
How awesome is that?
Rain date is the next day, Sunday, so we don't have to worry too much about the weather I think.
I'm hoping to set up my phone and film the concert and then post the concert later that night on youtube so you can watch it from where ever you are.
Okay, let's do this! Put something sexy on and get out there! Move your body! Have some fun! Be glad you're alive!
I've never felt luckier.