Tonight we're having my childrens' friends and a handful of our closest friends all to Rob's house.
I'm amazed to be having a party!
I didn't know if I'd ever host a party again in my life!
For a good long while it seemed unthinkable.
Last Christmas Nina suggested we have a party, and I just couldn't pull the trigger on it.
This past summer Nina suggested we have a party and I couldn't again.
You really need to feel optimistic and joyful to invite people to your house on the night before Christmas Eve.
And I Am Feeling It!
Singing in the church choir has pushed my needle of Joy way up.
(Also, remember that my mother paid for the Glogg ingredients which are the backbone of the party budget).
But singing in the choir has really made my Christmas.
I have enjoyed every minute of rehearsal and performance.
Remember when I was saying that anxiety was creeping over me during church?
I beat it!
I don't have it now.
Yesterday the choir sang at both services.
We started out right out in the pews with the congregation.
This is a new idea that I've never been a part of before, but it made my life complete.
We were directed to choose spots out in the pews of the fairly large church, all of the choir members, scattered throughout the sanctuary.
We wore our street clothes for the first service which is meant to be less formal.
We had our big black leather music folders on our laps, so we weren't very noticeable sitting down.
When the church service started, and it was really a full congregation...standing room only just the way I like it....we started to sing the introit from our scattered places.
We surprised everyone with our sudden acapella singing from amongst the people.
Oh my God, I loved it so much.
We sat there and sang, and we got to sing out in our full voices which you know I really have just like a sickness of yearning to do.
When I used to go to church and I wasn't in the choir I would embarrass the HELL out of my kids, my husband, my mother.
I hated the way the congregation members at any church would just sort of half sing like a bunch of wimps.
So I would just let it fly, Joy To The World!, and all that jazz, and my family members would cower in embarrassment over my loud singing.
But here I was, being expected to sing loudly right into the backs of the heads of the parishioners before me.
So much fun!
Then on the third verse we had to stand and climb over all the people's laps in our row to get out to the aisles to make our way, joining together up to the choir loft in front.
Also, I was wearing my new Christmas dress I bought.
I loved my new dress and I was so grateful to have it to wear that morning.
Feeling fresh and confident and appropriate for church was part of how I conquered my anxiety problem as well.
I'm so thankful to be doing it all again tomorrow night.
I really don't want this choir thing to end.
I love all the people and the director is great.
I think I'm going to extend my commitment into January.
The director asked me yesterday if I'd be interested in doing a Peter, Paul, And Mary style guitar piece with members of the choir in January.
I think that would be really interesting.
It's a way for the classically based chancel choir to expand it's repertoire.
I'm into that.
The church has had this musical chasm over the "praise and worship" style and the classical choral style.
The classical choir has been portrayed as uptight and out of touch.
Those people grew up with The Beatles and all the rest of it too.
I think it's super interesting for the chancel choir to show it's teeth in a thousand interesting ways.
I would be very happy to help show that people who love classical music aren't dorks.
Handel was not a dork.
Well, so, I'm going to keep singing with the choir.
I may even try to write a choral piece myself.
Wouldn't that be awesome?
I can write sacred music because I get to say it's sacred music.
If you just wrote it yourself yesterday morning is it still called "sacred" music?
Who gets to decide?
I think I do.
So, lots to think about.
Music sustains me still.
I need to go bake a homemade cheesecake and construct a baked brie right now.
Joy to the world!
Love to you!