I feel new.
I didn't know if it was going to happen.
For a few days there I thought I might not be able to continue as a musician.
I really got burned out from that last long series of show after show after show.
I saw a quote from Quincy Jones, "when you make it about the money God walks out the door."
I agree with that.
So, I stopped, as you know, or you can read through the end of November posts and get caught up.
I stopped playing the small shows where the venues wouldn't pay me a guarantee and I would pray that people would buy my merchandise and put money in my tip jar.
I won't do that any more.
It doesn't work for me.
The great thing is that I filled the void with singing in the church choir, and now it's January and I'm playing there this Sunday the 5th...on my guitar no less....and singing the opening verse of the piece as a solo no less.
I was invited by the choir director to do this.
It's the Peter Paul and Mary "Light One Candle" song but with some words about baby Jesus.....well hey....nothing really wrong with that...not the coolest song I've ever sung....but it's fun it's nice and I'm delighted.
The choir is singing back up.
Two other men are playing guitars too, with me, and one of them wrote the baby Jesus adaptation for the song.
I am not looking this gift horse in the mouth, I'm just grateful and happy to have been included.
I bought a $26 dress on line and it arrived last night...another long prairie dress with puffed sleeves and a tiered long skirt and fitted bodice....perfect for playing the guitar in church.
So, I started cleaning out my closet in December as well and now I have my awesome depop shop (@cyasmineh).
I've earned two five star reviews for the things I've sold to people so far.
My closet is decluttering.
My drawers are no longer impossible to claw through.
I'm feeling new.
My ideas about new songs are still moving in me, getting closer to manifestation, I feel it.
Survival is not dependent upon performances for me now.
The performances have to be kept special if not sacred.
It's not about how often it's about how special.
The shows have to have some kind of light around them even in the planning.
Every show on my calendar for 2020, so far, has a lot of light around it for me.
I am truly looking forward to each situation.
That's how that's gotta be.
Same thing with possessions.
It's gotta have a lot of light around it or it's out of here!
The way forward for me is to place a sacred premium on....everything.
My relationships with people are filled with the sacred light of Kindness.
Kindness is the light that glows around each relationship.
I want that so much.
So, this is my new year.
Filled with light, filled with joy, going forward slowly and with kindness.
Lastly, Nina my oldest daughter is living with us at my favorite music producer Rob's house.
Nina has asked me to do yoga with her every morning in January in the living room.
We're watching a woman on Nina's laptop who's doing thirty days of yoga from beginning to intermediate levels in January.
We're doing it every morning at nine a.m.
I said yes and I'm doing it.
I am being led.
I didn't dream this up, I was invited by my daughter and I am obeying.
I gotta go 'cause yoga is starting!
Have a happy day!