I personally don't want to go backwards

Thank God we can never go back.

Whether we want to or not, the world changes, times change, and we are propelled forward.

I'm happier right now than I was before the Virus hit my life.

I've learned to value the base camp more than the excursions.

I've learned to let my life lead me, to let the Holy Spirit point the way.

I saw yesterday that some local musicians in Minneapolis have an album release show planned for one of the popular venues in June 2020.

They had all the right stuff, the cool line up of bands, the cool poster.

My reaction was disappointment and dread in my heart.

Oh no, are we all just jumping right in where we left off?

Do I have to do this too?

I keep thinking that the trees are unfurling their leaves without airplane fuel jet streams (whatever it might be in the air from planes) dropping down on them continuously.

I keep thinking the sky looks like the beautiful Minnesota blue I remember from my childhood.

I keep thinking there's a magical stillness, a magical contemplative stillness, that I love.

I keep thinking that the rat race for musicians like me to play "cool live shows" is suspended.

Yuck.

I don't want any of that back.

I am seriously thinking of playing a live show...not streaming but somebody could film it, on our front porch in a couple weeks.

Announce it on line but play it in person.

Maybe I need to move North someday soon.

Rob says he would move North some day with me, not now but some day.

In the meantime I just keep thinking about how I got to meet with Chris Martin's booking agent in New York four years ago.

He was impressed with what I was doing and was willing to talk with me.

He said I was coming to it very late, needless to say, and that it was my biggest drawback to be older.

He liked my recordings though, and my Sidney book.

He asked me why I chose at seventeen to head North.

He's a native New Yorker, so he said something like, "I mean, anybody would have come to New York. What the hell were you thinking going up there? It's just a bunch of trees. I don't like trees, they give me allergies. Bob Dylan left there to go get famous. Why didn't you understand that?"

Ha!

Smart guy, all the right questions.

I love this guy.

I consider it an honor to know him.

And of course I couldn't explain.

My ideas were about Mother Nature and Trees, Clear Water, and Silence.

My ideas were about sitting around writing songs by the fire, as the wind howled around the old cabin outer walls.

I still believe in this, the silence, the richness of solitude, the majesty of the North country.

I don't want the rat race of sending emails and emails, begging for gigs and more gigs.

I want memorable concerts with people who love the songs as much as I do.

I want songs that say what I need to say now.

I'm going to resist the pull to go backwards into the rat race of last summer with so many gigs but too many of them forgettable.

A concert is not a gig to me.

A concert is a performance engagement and everyone involved is looking forward to it equally.

A "gig" to me now means little or low pay, few meaningful listeners, a certain thanklessness all around.

I have the vision set.

Beautiful Silence, beautiful Nature, beautiful Recordings, beautiful Concerts.

I can take my time and let these things evolve.

The best news is that my career has been evolving more and more in this direction, so I'm on the right track.

By the end of last year's series of shows, I had good concerts happening on a regular basis.

Good Concerts.

That's what I want.

Good Songs, that's what I'm working for.

Today I play from 12-1pm Central Time for the Hennepin Theater Trust and Downtown Improvement District of Minneapolis.

I'll play in my bedroom, live.

I believe in these organizations and I love the people who run them.

I'm glad to do it.

You can watch the show today at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbWGN2pLB6U

 

 

Leave a comment

Add comment