hard day today..trying to stay grateful


I set up my old desk in Rob's living room today. 

I put away my little dog Aidan's things, his bed, his toy basket, his food and water dishes. 

I carried my wooden desk up from Rob's basement on sheer strength of my grief. 

A desk is what I long for now so I gave this to myself. 

Rob's living room is small. 

Rob wasn't happy when he saw what I had added. 

He is asking for me to give up the idea. 

But I simply need my desk right now. 

It's staying for at least a little while. 

There's a love seat of mine that's now just sort of sitting in the space between the living room and dining room. 

I don't know where the love seat can go. 

It's too heavy for me to move alone. 

I have no idea. 

I can't think about that right now. 

Grief has me hog tied and blinded. 

I called places around Minnesota about puppies the same kind as Aidan. 

There's one available but they want $500. 

I don't have that right now. 

I consider that a red light from the Universe. 

I see my light come shining, from the west down to the east. 

Any day now, any day now, I shall be released.

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