Tomorrow I begin a new adventure.
I want to tell you all about it.
One of the things this daily blog does for me is it provides this safe space forum for me to run everything I'm doing past what feels like a broad caring panel of consultants.
If you guys think it's stupid, it probably is stupid.
On Friday a great guy at my show took a long time to talk to me about whether I should really spend the extra money...that I don't have but on my credit line...to get a rental car for this solo tour.
He was thorough and adamant about all the reasons I simply had to rent a car.
So yesterday I looked up the Enterprise shop on Lake Street that Nina would be able to easily drive me to on Monday morning.
I quickly discovered that a four wheel drive vehicle was going to be nearly $500 for the ten days.
The weather right now is between rain and snow where I am and where I'm going, so I really prefer to have four wheel drive which I have on my trusty Jeep.
I gave up and went back to answering emails.
I was looking something up in past emails and I saw something I hadn't opened from about a week ago from Enterprise.
It said I had bonus points to apply to a new rental.
I clicked on it, I chose my dates and my Rav 4 type vehicle with four wheel drive, and as if by magic it came in at $300!
That's the amount I thought was absolute tops I could spend, and it's also the lowest amount I thought was possible to probably rent a car for ten days from any company.
By the calculations I did about my Jeep gas mileage and the brand new Rav 4 mileage, I will save almost $100 in gas.
So then I'm only spending $200.
If my eight year old Jeep breaks down, I have to find someone to fix it, hope they have the parts, and maybe have a huge bill and a day or two of missed shows.
If the new car has any problems, they replace it along the way fairly quickly and no cost to me.
When I get home in two weeks, I have my nice Jeep ready for the winter, having just completed an oil change and a check up.
So, okay, I'm leaving on a non budget again on this tour, and I'm traveling a sixteen hour projected drive each way.
Why is it a non budget again?
The answer to that is that after I paid down the credit card from the plane tickets with the money from Europe that we earned, there was no profit.
Which leads me to......the guarantees for these show in New York state and why I'm going.
I won't be paid very much at all unless people who come to these shows love me and buy my albums and put money in my tip jar.
Why is this continuing to be the case?
I am working to raise my acclaim.
Acclaim is love.
If people know your music and love your music, they will offer you money to come play for them.
If they're uncertain about this they will offer you the invitation and then see how they feel once you perform.
That's still where I'm at with a lot of people.
They aren't sure what to expect and they aren't positive they're going to love it.
I'm working as hard as I can to change that as quickly as possible.
The reason I'm going to New York is that three years ago I was living in Manhattan. I lived there for two years and LOVED it.
Two of my three kids went to NYU and we were all in NY together.
Ava came often to stay with me from Boulder where she went to school.
We had a blast.
I was working hard to lift my music up while on the East Coast and I did many small tours in rental cars leaving out of Manhattan and heading up into New England and beyond.
Extra info...my two daughters were born in Vermont. I lived there for five years when my husband at the time worked at the Dartmouth Medical Center as an anesthesiology resident. Once he became an anesthesiologist, he wanted to move back to the Twin Cities where he grew up.
I loved that region and my brand of punkish folk rock was something they could sort of get behind.
They didn't go nuts over me but they were supportive.
I did a lot of NPR radio interviews and I played a lot of fairly cool singer/songwriter venues as far as Portland, Maine and as far as Jamestown, NY.
I have wanted so much to return with this very record.
These very cover tunes.
I think they'll like it and like me better for it.
So when I got an invitation from a cool songwriter guy called Davey O. in Akron, NY to do his Nickel City Songwriter Series, like more than a year out, I said yes and just prayed I'd find a way.
"Spring forward and the way will open before you" ~Rumi.
This is not my favorite quote or my favorite way to do things.
But the fact is that this is the truth. And the only way.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
It's like having to jump out of a fucking plane and hope to God all your shit works right.
But it's the only way to forge new territory in your life.
And them that's not busy being born is busy dying.
So I am going out with my goddamn machete to cut through the dense and thorny underbrush of the world to clear a path once again for my music to be heard and for my presence to be noted.
I'm going out in my brand new rented four wheel drive and I am going to be bold and show the people why it was important for me to get in this car and drive all this way.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm doing it.
I will do it.