"When you're lost in the rain in Juarez and it's Easter time too...."
That's Bob Dylan's wonderful start to "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues".
It's rain turning to snow in Minneapolis, we feel strangely lost in our time warp of pandemic.
My son and one of my daughters and Rob and myself will gather together but my mother will have to stay isolated at her apartment alone for her own health safety.
My other daughter is happy and healthy in Denver.
I want to tell you that I've learned something by pushing my blog to what seemed to be the limit yesterday.
I pushed the limits of how confident and rebellious I could get.
Do I want to incite emotion?
Yes, if it's sincere, why not?
Does all the emotion have to be on my side of the line?
Or can there be anger from a different perspective?
Can I tolerate the disgust or disagreement swirling around me or my words?
Can I take the heat?
People got angry when Bob Dylan played an electric guitar at the Newport Folk Festival.
Some people get mean about Lizzo's body, some people get mean about Bernie's age.
Indifference is what I have experienced in the distant past, when my presentation was bland or not worth notice.
Kindness and support from close followers has come after that.
People who don't like what they hear or see, people who disagree, staying away.
Can I take the heat of people sticking around and disagreeing?
People sticking around but disapproving?
People getting mad?
Yesterday I learned that I don't want to cross the lines of hurting people I know because of my public words.
I found out that I don't want to use my blog to fight internal battles.
I found out that Personal information is a concept that I barely understand but that is near and dear to some people's more private hearts.
Tell your truth.
But don't necessarily tell everybody else's too.
If it ain't your secret it ain't your secret to tell.
So I pledge on this strange and eerie new Easter morning that I will write with a new eye.
I will watch for what is universal.
I will wield my sword for worthy causes, and I know that for me the most worthy cause is freedom to express yourself, so that won't be abandoned.
But I will protect those who don't want a public part in my confessions.
This however does not include my Mom because the last time I told her that I wrote in my blog the thing she said to me about giving up on my music she responded with, "Oh well did you tell them I used the word 'sputtering'? I hope you told them I said 'your sputtering' music career. I thought that was particularly descriptive."
My Mom's not going to be daunted by any old BLOG of her daughter's.
She doesn't care!
And I love her for that.
So the blog will continue with a more careful eye for whose details I'm revealing and who could be hurt by these details.
I don't want to hurt anyone.
I want to shake up the world and make it bigger and looser and more all encompassing for all of us.
I want the dawning of a new era.
How much can one woman do to make a difference?
Maybe a lot if she's brave.
Maybe a lot.
Have the best Easter Day you can put together for yourself.
Whatever it takes, whatever you believe in, make this Sunday a joy for yourself in some way.
Make eggs your favorite way.
Take a walk to find blossoming crocuses in your neighborhood.
Whatever it takes, have yourself a delightful day.