December 1st, 2019.
I'm driving out to the small fancy town where I raised my kids this morning.
It's only a half hour or maybe forty-five minute drive in the snow.
It's still snowing.
We live in a snow globe now.
I am still riding the high of seeing my Mom dancing so awesome to the Mariah Carey Christmas songs on Thanksgiving.
I'm thinking about the Lizzo song that says "I do my hair toss, check my nails, baby how you feeling? Feeling Good As Hell!"
That's my Mom, I swear.
And that's me too.
I'm singing in the church choir every Sunday in Advent and on Christmas Eve.
I've sung in church choirs since I was six years old.
I wasn't able to these past ten years because of touring and because I played local shows in rock clubs on Saturday nights and there was no way I was getting to the church by eight-thirty the next morning...not to mention singing the high notes after yelling out my songs over my rock band backing guys the night before.
But this December I have only one show booked, which is scary! But I'm going to spend the time preparing business wise for 2020.
I hope that this time is meant-to-be.
I hope I will accept my situation and make the very most of it.
I have several shows booked throughout 2020 already and this month will be a very good time to lay the groundwork for many more.
I will do it.
I will be careful and hardworking and get it done.
What holds me back is immense overriding fear.
I think I can override it daily in the month of December.
The fears are questions of:
-will the people I write to like my music?
-will I be able to travel to the places I'm writing to?
Those are the only fears I guess.
It seems like there used to be more...like how would I pay for the traveling..but I got that figured out now because I make enough playing the shows to cover it.
So, I have less to be afraid of than ever.
Also, the fear of people not being impressed or excited or thinking I'm too old or a delusional loser is almost totally gone now too.
I have such a high approval rating for the most part everywhere I go right now that I don't think it would be rational to be afraid that people won't like me.
Even at the brewery where I just played they all liked me a lot and I knew no one and none of them had ever heard me before.
So, I have almost absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
Also, the "Songs From The Open Road" album is a door opener for the folk festivals and songwriter concert series type shows I want to be a part of.
I have the right materials, the right repertoire, the best voice, the best look, that I've ever had.
Gonna do it.
Write to all the places.
Go all over the place playing the shows.
Get 2020 all mapped out.
And in the meantime, sing in the church choir.
Rehearsals every Wednesday will get my voice in shape in a new way.
It's a different kind of singing, very good for a coloratura vocal range like mine.
The director has asked me to sing the highest voice one soprano, which is what I always sang as a child and as a young woman.
I can still do it just fine.
My voice is in great shape.
Singing every Wednesday and every Sunday in those clear high tones will be so good for my vocal chords.
Get out of that overused middle range I sing in most of the time.
And no guitar!
That's so great because I get very sore hands doing three hour solo shows.
I needed a month off from that.
This is meant to be.
As long as I can make my basic bills throughout the month and get a Christmas tree, everything's gonna be okay.
Half way through the month I do have a wonderful holiday show for a private party in a renovated old barn all heated and decked out for Christmas so that will be wonderful.
I'm going to wear my brand new winter boots this morning and my leopard coat.
Black tights and a cream colored lace dress.
You know that look of mine, it's one of my favorites.
Rob always says that I'm the only person he's ever known who wakes up and lays in bed thinking of an outfit for the day.
I say, of course I'm the only person you know who does that.
My inspiration to get out of bed is usually to have a plan of what to wear, even if it's my running clothes, then a plan to go make myself a cup of coffee, then my plan of what to write about in my blog post.
In that order.
Okay, I gotta get ready and head out to church choir!
Love and Gratitude!