I'm driving this morning at 8am.
That's in fifteen minutes.
I have to load the car still but I'm all packed up and I'm pretty well organized.
I have to bring merchandise for three shows.
That could mean that very little gets sold or it could mean that I don't bring enough.
I can't predict.
So I try to bring a lot of stuff to sell to people.
I have fifteen copies of my novel which I purchased for half price from the distributor.
I have many copies of six of my albums.
Two of my albums are now officially out of print, a situation I hope to rectify before the next time I get to go on tour.
Sufi Line and Early Days are out of print.
But you can listen to them on spotify and on bandcamp, so they're still alive.
Aside from merchandise, I just have to bring clothes to wear for three days.
If I was going camping and that's all I was doing for the next three days I would have a very small pack basket of stuff to wear.
Instead, I'm doing three shows, and also hoping to swim and hike in the woods, and also having to be prepared for a wide variety of outdoor performance weather conditions.
So I'm confessing to bringing a lot of costume changes for three day period.
Most of what I'm bringing will probably never be worn but I can't predict how I'm going to feel up there.
I gotta feel good to do a good show, that's become evident after all this time.
If I feel good my mind stays focused and I deliver the songs well.
It's not about the clothes, it's not about the revenues, it's only about the feeling.
The feeling has to be carefully tended so that the conditions are as close to ideal as possible for the Holy Spirit to enter the circle.
That sounds like magical thinking and it is magical thinking because it is a magical process.
So all the amplifiers and cords and microphones and guitars and hats and boots and t shirts and dresses all add up to conjuring the Holy Spirit to come among us and allow us to bear witness to each others' pain.
We bear witness to pain and the experience of a full life, the good and the bad and the funny and the ugly.
You can do this without all this crap I'm loading into my car.
But if all this crap helps me make it good for myself and everybody who's coming to the shows, then I'm fine with that.
I'm heading to the home of my hosts first, a little North of Ely, to unload and set up for the show.
Then I'm driving back into Ely to do a radio promotion for the Saturday show.
Then I'm going back out to my host's lovely lake place to play the show 6-9pm.
It's a big day.
I'm letting my life lead me.
See you in Ely!