Last night was my weekly screenwriting class.
I talk too much in that class.
Also, my characters talk too much and last night the instructor whom I adore said that my characters were being redundant.
When I was little my real name was Courtney Dundon.
You say Dundon like London.
One day my friend introduced me to her big brother because I had a crush on him and I insisted.
She was disgusted but she introduced me.
The guy started laughing.
He said, "What did you say your name was?"
I said, "Courtney Dundon."
He said, "Oh I thought you said your name was Quite Redundant! That's hilarious. I bet you get that all the time."
I went home and asked my brother and my Mom what redundant meant.
My brother laughed his head off when I told him what the guy had said.
After that, for a long time, a lot of people called me "Quite-re" instead of Courtney.
I got called that for years.
And it came to pass that in a city called Minneapolis, a girl called Quite-re turned out to be redundant again, and after all.
In my class last night I also learned that my main character is flawed, who of course is me again, because I only know how to do me.
My main character has a big flaw.
She understands that she has a spiritual connection that guides her and always gives her just what she needs, but sometimes she worries about money and gets down about her career and her situation.
Oh, who does that sound like?
And last night in the class one of my fellow screenwriters commented that he loves my character when she's being herself.
And he added that he realizes that's who I really am.
But he said that when she starts worrying and getting down on herself "that's when you lose me".
He said he doesn't like it when she gets "out of character" like that.
He said, "it's not like her, it's not like you, it's out of character. You're a person who just goes with the flow and does things her own way and it always works out, that's who you are. You aren't a person who sits around worrying about her bank account and everything."
Well, there you have it.
Total strangers, calling it.
I came home last night and told Nina all about this.
Nina said, "There it is Mom, these people are calling you on your bullshit. You have to get more straight with your mission and your real position on everything because nobody wants to hear your old talk that doesn't match up with who they see."
We talked about how in Taylor Swift's documentary we just watched, how she would be so surprised if she won an award and everyone started saying she was annoying.
They even started saying she was phony and conniving.
But her own lag time in believing that it was all working out was probably real.
She was stuck in her childhood desire to succeed that consumed her every waking hour for so many years and she couldn't shift into successful gracious grown up woman fast enough.
Successful gracious grown up woman, that's the new me.
Can I handle that?
I hope so because anything else is just dumb now.
Thanks for reading.
Who knows if other people will want to read the blog of a successful gracious grown up woman.
Luckily I still have some major flaws to work on.