two movies over the weekend

I went to two movies over the weekend.

On Saturday afternoon I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody. On Sunday afternoon I went to see A Star Is Born.

Both days were very cold in Minnesota so it was a nice way to spend an afternoon.

I went alone purposely to make it a true artist date the way Julia Cameron recommends in The Artist's Way.

I went to an old movie theater near the college I graduated from, that I remember going to when I was in school. It's a charming old fashioned place with great popcorn and old red velvet seats.

I snuck in the small size split of cava in the pocket of my pink fur coat the first day and got popcorn too. Yes, I did. Hey, I can't help it if I know how to have fun. The second day I just watched the movie. This theater only charges $6 so not too expensive for an artist budget.

I watched both films with an intensity that I recognize as the inner recognition of something. I've had this feeling all my life. Not about actors, not at all about actors. And not about guitar players either. Just about singers. And bigger than life singers especially.

The bigger they bring their game, the more my soul ignites and fuses with their performance.

It's intense for me to go to see good singers sing. I think almost every human feels this. I'm not saying they don't. But I do think if you aspire to perform that way yourself it adds another level of fire to the experience.

It really doesn't matter whether they wrote the song or not.

The first time I ever felt it was when I was six years old and my parents brought me to the big church where my grandparents attended services in Chicago. It was a huge dark Lutheran as in Serious Martin Luther German Stuff. The children's choir came filing in wearing white robes and carrying little battery powered candles and every molecule of my being began firing like I was going to spontaneously combust. I was tugging my parents' sleeves saying "How did they get to do that?"

But that must not have been the first time, because my brother used to dial friends and family when he was eight and I was three and a half and hold the kitchen telephone receiver like a microphone for me so I could perform my rendition of "These Boots Are Made For Walking". Nancy Sinatra had already lit the fire, over the radio waves no less, for me. At three.

It's about singing. I went to a party over the weekend and a woman started questioning me about my age and why I don't "go to Nashville and try to sell my songs to one of the young famous singers". Piss off bitch. There, I said it. I didn't say it at the party. I said, "Well, I'm finding that people can connect with the songs I write when I sing them. I am what those songs look like. I am the face of that music. And I think people appreciate that." I can't tell you what she thought of that answer. I do not write songs to make money by selling them to other singers, although if another singer wants to sing a song of mine I am always delighted. I want to sing songs for people. Some of the songs I sing are from the 1960's and '70s. Some of the songs I sing were written in the past two years. And some of the songs I sing I wrote myself and I write myself so that I can say exactly what I want to say. 

Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga reminded me that what we do as singers and performing artists is of consequence to people.

Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury reminded me that it's a fight and that people don't make it easy on you necessarily. 

Both movies reminded me that it does matter what you look like and what you dress like. Which is cool by me because I just got some cool as hell new brocade pants for the holiday season. Haha.

Rami and Bradley Cooper have never been full time musicians the way Lady Gaga has been.

I personally thought Lady Gaga was the better actor and certainly the better performer of the Star Is Born film.

Rami was beautiful and I thought he did a wonderful job, but go home after and watch the footage of Freddie himself and feel the electricity on a really high frequency.

These movies are doing really well at the box offices all around the world.

I see it this way:

people want intense musical experiences now as much as ever and they want to understand the back story and the struggle of the singer to be up there on the stage.

To be the singer.

I choose to be the singer.

Thanks Hollywood for the reminders of why I do what I do and why it's so important.

I will endeavor bravely to take my voice and my backstory and make something of myself.




Courtney Yasmineh November 13, 2018 @08:04 am
Thanks so much for all the interactions here friends. I love the input and am grateful for your support.
Cindy November 12, 2018 @06:16 pm
Yes, Seattle and the artists havens north of seattle. Big place, that city. But in the artists havens north, you would flourish. I loved the movie with Gaga, need to go see Freddy, but you, you are the courageous one.
Jeff Parkman November 12, 2018 @03:38 pm
I recently saw A Star Is Born and liked it a lot more than I thought I was going to. Gave me a better sense of the dedication a lot of artists like you have to their craft.
Josephine Lane November 12, 2018 @10:17 am
I don't know what that lady was thinking of. Your songs are not Nashville material. Your songs are Seattle material. I love your lyrics, your voice, your sound, your looks. The package is like no other. Keep on rockin.
Blake CHarles Donley November 12, 2018 @09:32 am
"Serious Martin Luther German Stuff"—LOL! Great description!
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