honest assessments

My circumstances have changed...again...the only constant is change.

My oldest daughter is living in the little second bedroom at Rob's house.

This was my "dressing room" and has a small closet that holds all of my clothes and two twin beds.

There is a wooden wardrobe in there as well that I cleaned out to now be her closet.

Now I have to go through my daughter's private space, and past her closet, to get to my closet.

When I get ready for a show, this means a flurry of activity in the late afternoon in her room.

In the mornings, it means a quick in and out in case she's sleeping.

I am a very early riser for the most part.

So, having my twenty-eight year old daughter living here at Rob's house is a new change that, really, there is no "getting used to", there is only adaptation and tolerance.

She is here working on her new music, which is very exciting.

She is also helping me with my photos and music videos.

This is one of the ways that her presence is a huge gift to me.

She is also a delightful and brilliant companion and we do many fun things together.

The next big change is that my middle child, my feisty and beautiful daughter Ava, has come back to Minnesota to attend a program at Hazelden for a month.

I think it's a very good choice she's making to improve herself and her life.

She has two Chihuahua dogs.

For the next four weeks, I am the proud master of a Shitzu-poodle (my little Aidan) and now his two cousins as well, the Chihuahuas.

Walking three dogs is a challenge.

Making three dogs go to sleep when they all want to sleep on our beds with us but nobody is into having three dogs on their bed, is also a challenge.

I am training them to sleep in their little dog beds on the first floor in a corner of the living room.

Last night I got up four times to put them all back to bed.

They all have a little blanket and a bed.

They're all wearing wool sweaters because they're little dogs who get cold easily. The Chihuahuas particularly are used to warmer Colorado weather, not Minnesnowta.

Right now it's six in the morning and they're all sound asleep in their beds....while visions of sugarplums dance in their heads....no, wrong story.

I am crossing a line with this blog post.

I always said that my private life isn't part of my social media presence, and that my blog is only about being a full time artist and all the trials and tribulations that life choice brings.

Well, with this post, I guess I'm saying that the trials and tribulations of being a mother, which I never did chronicle to the general public when that was my full time job, are still a part of my life, and thereby a part of my artistic journey.

I can't say, or I won't ever say, to any of my children that I can't help them now because I'm a full time artist and there's no room for their lives in my life.

Does real life happen in the cracks of being an artist or does art happen in the cracks of being a full time person?

Another thing this post does is threaten the privacy of my family's personal circumstances.

I once saw a comedian do a very funny thing on this topic.

He was talking about his kids and he said one of his kids was mad because he kept using stories about her in his act.

He said he finally brought all his kids together and gave them a speech.

The essence of the speech was , "If you don't do anything stupid, I won't have anything to say about you. You act stupid, you're gonna get talked about."

Harsh, but funny, and kind of true.

Having a mother who's a writer means steering clear of being fodder for blog posts I suppose.

As you can hopefully see here, no one is being criticized or mocked.

I have nothing but love and respect for my children and I enjoy being a helpful supportive person in their lives.

Hopefully, this post stays on the side of goodness in every way.

Hopefully this post gives those who read my blog another deeper glimpse into the life of one woman with one dream and one life to pursue it.

Hopefully the trials and tribulations provide insight or inspiration or an avenue for empathy and understanding.

That's what I hope.

Love to you today.

Spring is returning again to Minnesnowta today, thank God.

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