follow the fear

Follow the fear is the worst and the best advice.

If you follow the fear instead of avoid it, ignore it, try to deny it, you will undoubtedly run into some hardship.

The reason you're afraid is probably a real reason.

You are afraid of being hurt physically or emotionally.

I have been afraid of rejection and afraid of failure.

I have also been afraid of success.

Right now I am applying for festivals, for grants, for a literary agent to represent me, for booking agents to work with me.

I'm so freaked out that my heart pounds when I'm in bed at night and my jaw is tight in a worrisome way during the day.

Today is another "day off" meaning that the two lessons I usually do on Mondays aren't happening so I have free time.

Today's free time is going to be devoted to writing the application to be considered for a showcase at SXSW this coming March in Austin, TX. I've played shows during this conference before, but the showcase spot I'm applying to is at a higher level of ....of respect, of professionalism. Just the application alone is fairly daunting and costs $55. It's also the last day to apply for this year. So, grocery money be damned, this is happening.

I am going to go running first. I like to run down the steps to the big waterfall at the Minnehaha Creek and run back up the other side.

Sometimes I do it twice and then run back. This is a stress reliever. And if I'm going to be accepted into even one of the things I'm applying for, I'm gonna have to be in tip top shape.

Once the SXSW thing is sent in, hopefully by noon, then the afternoon will be spent working on two things, the September Full Band Europe Tour and the McKnight Fellowship application 25 page sample of new writing. Well, and the third thing would be booking US shows that would start in March, hopefully on my way down to play my big showcase at SXSW.

Yes I'm doing this on my own timeline...yes I'm aware that 58 year old women do not get showcase spots at SXSW.... but there's never been anybody like me before, so it's a whole new game.

Rock the fuck on Brothers and Sisters.

Here's a fun picture of the last time I took a band to Austin for SXSW:

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