Earning Respect


I think it's true that you have to earn people's respect.

You can't demand it. You can't guilt them into respecting you. You can't convince them that you deserve their respect.

You earn it by your actions, by the quality of your words and your actions.

Yesterday I played a show in Minneapolis at a big neighborhood arts festival.

First of all, they earned my respect yesterday because the scene they created was vital and fresh.

Rob and I walked around before and after our performance and everywhere as far as the eye could see there was live music and bright displays of original art.

The people looked happy and they looked healthy.

There were lots of people on bicycles. Lots of people with tattoos, some of them beautiful and original.

There were lots of hair colors and hair cuts that were creative too.

It was not as diverse a crowd racially as I prefer, but hopefully Mpls is heading more in that direction.

So, for the most part, NE Minneapolis had my respect last night, for sure.

What is wonderful and new for me in this city is that I had their respect last night as well.

Ah, to feel appreciated.

I felt appreciated last night for my musical performance. Rob felt it too.

It was a singer/songwriter/roots/americana primarily older white crowd at the venue where I was invited to play.

There were five bands on the bill I think.

Often those other musicians give me feedback after my performances that is insult thinly veiled as compliment.

I always dread talking to any of them after I play.

But this time it was different.

I could hear the appreciation in their voices.

I could hear their respect for what we had done.

I know a songwriter in this city who has made twice as many albums of original songs as I have made.

He writes often on social media that he doesn't get enough appreciation in his hometown for his music.

It's a constant lament of his.

But all of his lamenting only makes his people respect him less.

My dad was like Rodney Dangerfield, the old comedian who used to complain that he couldn't get any respect.

My dad would yell at me, "I'm your father and you need to show me some respect!"

I was nine years old when I responded for the first time what became my standard answer, "A person has to earn another person's respect."

I would say that and then run before I got hit.

I thought it was a brilliant statement then, and I still think so now.

A songwriter cannot yell at the audience to shut up and listen to him sing.

A father cannot yell at his child to demand respect and get it.

I could not get the respect of my peers in Minneapolis until I gave a performance that they could feel for themselves to be worthy.

Last night was a musical breakthrough for me.

Rob and I felt appreciated for the performance we gave.

The performance was worthy of appreciation.

The respect we felt from the audience was real and honest and the feedback we got afterwards was real and honest, and positive.

Hallelujah.

Comments

Courtney May 26, 2018 @07:18 am
Josephine, you have my respect too. Thanks for your support and keep on doing great work!
Josephine Lane May 20, 2018 @11:18 am
Courtney you definitely have my respect. I aspire to be a great songwriter/singer/performer like you.
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