If I let the negative feelings creep in, I get discouraged.

Sometimes I don't even know what has flipped the switch, but suddenly I can't enjoy the moment.

There has been some small gesture from the outside world; an email saying they're sorry but I was not chosen to play their summer festival, my mother saying that I'm looking tired. That kind of thing can get me down and I don't realize it.

I get a vague dissatisfied feeling going, an unrest, a bitter taste setting in.

I hate when it happens and the truth is that something like that happens all the time.

These moments are the pea under the mattress for sleeping beauty, and no matter how many mattresses they piled up for her she could still feel it and she couldn't sleep. Get over it girlfriend. Snap out of that obsessive crap and get on with your life.

That's what I have to tell myself. I get so scared when my bank account is on the edge of disaster. I get so bummed out if I have a feeling that anyone was disappointed in me.

Today I have about ten of those things hovering around me like bats circling my head.

Make them go away!

I almost didn't write this daily discipline or daily meditation of mine because I said to myself, "I'm not in a good place and I don't want to taint my blog when it's been going so well." 

Well, if I'm going to write this every day then some of the days have to reflect the fighting the good fight moments.

To me, being able to wave away the circling bats of discouragement is one of the keys to being a productive person.

My new song "Missing Us" on my "High Priestess And The Renegade" album talks about the bats too.

You can listen to it right here for free because I appreciate your interest in my blog posts so much.



Jennifer V May 10, 2018 @10:39 am
I've had several days of the "pea under the mattress" situation. I laughed out loud at "Snap out of that obsessive crap and get on with your life." That's the challenge, thanks for the bump!
Courtney May 02, 2018 @05:51 am
Thank you for the encouragement Jeff. Another day has dawned!
Jeff May 01, 2018 @08:50 pm
I appreciate your honesty and courage to share yourself on this blog even when you are as you say not in a good place. Being a full time creative artist is often a difficult path. Wishing you a better day tomorrow and in the future so you can continue to share your amazing talent.
Courtney May 01, 2018 @08:18 pm
Thank you for your thoughts Josephine. I think admitting the hurts but then redirecting your energy back to whatever cool thing you were going to do before something got you off your game. We fight the good fight❤️✊
Josephine Lane May 01, 2018 @07:31 pm
I love the comment about "Sometimes I don't even know what has flipped the switch". I have been trying to figure that out myself. Some days I feel fine and the next day not so fine. Nothing has changed between the 2 days. If only I could figure out how to stay feeling fine. I keep telling myself Faith is knowing no matter what happens, everything is going to be OK.
  • Leave a comment: