all gratitude, all faith, all the time

I have to cancel my show today.

I cancelled my show last night.

I caught a bad cold and I have no voice to speak or sing.

I know I'm doing the best I can.

The way last month went, with my daughter Ava bringing her two dogs here for a month and my worrying for her in her personal struggles took a lot out of me.

But now the future is bright!

I feel like getting this small illness over with will bring a new day of happiness for me!

This is like the end of a bad spell.

The high today in Minneapolis is forty two degrees Fahrenheit.

That's really cold, practically winter again.

I was supposed to play on the patio overlooking the Apple River today for three hours.

That would not be possible today anyway.

It would have been fine to play inside their cozy little bar, and I would be doing it for sure, if I had my voice.

But, it'll all be great by next week!

I will have a whole new outlook.

Last year when I started this blog I had all these ideas about the struggle of being a full time artist.

I just want you to know I don't see it that way any more.

I have a song of mine that I was calling my theme song, that says, "fear is my enemy and money is my rival. Gratitude is the remedy and love is my survival".

I see it differently now.

I am not going to tell you about the money I missed out on by not being able to play my show last night or today.

I'm not going to worry you or myself wondering how I will get by without that money.

I can see now that the integrity of my life choices means I am responsible for making sure that these sorts of setbacks are not disasters.

I am not afraid.

I have made a brave lifestyle choice and I'm excited to see it through.

I'm getting better and better at taking good care of myself in this lifestyle I've chosen.

I feel great when I come up with good survival ideas to get me through moments like this one.

The unexpected is to be expected in all entrepreneurial endeavors.

I am not afraid.

I love my work.

I love my daily life.

I love what I'm doing and what I'm looking forward to doing.

Fear is obsolete.

Money is my beautiful friend, a gift that is perennial like a bouquet of Springtime wild flowers.

The beautiful gift of money received for my music and writings will continue to flow and I will continue to give money to others for all sorts of beautiful things and services.

It's all going to be wonderful.

It is all wonderful.

Happy Springtime Sunday morning to you.

a little too sick

I caught a cold and it's just bad enough that I have a hoarse voice.

The hoarse voice is bad for a person who earns their income mostly through live performances.

I have a show tonight and a show tomorrow.

I'm not sure yet, but tonight may be a no go.

We'll see, maybe my throat will clear.

It's not anything about damaged vocal chords, it's just a congested cold.

So, not the end of my little world, just a show or two may have to be cancelled.

I'll post the cancellation on social media later today if it has to happen.

I think my daughter Nina is going to play a few songs tonight if we do the show, to help save my throat and for the enjoyment too.

Okay, that's all I got.

Love.

fashion show recap

I went to a fashion show...or more precisely, the premier of a new collection by a fashion designer in Minneapolis.

This woman whose company is Joynoelle.com is really wonderful.

Her designs are very intricate dressmaker creations, very modern and also very old world in their feel.

She uses a lot of tulle and had several dresses last night that look like something I want to wear on stage.

Joy has made a performance ensemble for a music artist in Minneapolis called Dessa, and Dessa was again in the show last night.

That was great.

Joy and I have spoken briefly about her designing something for me to wear as well.

I will be so excited when that moment comes.

I'm working towards having some shows worthy of her creations!

And on the way to that divine destination there are many things I can do to ensure success.

Last night was an example of some new thinking I'm employing.

I bought two of the $35 tickets and invited my daughter Nina to join me.

We each had a glass of the $6 cava when we got there.

I knew that going to a fashion event like that, where I knew the designer and love her sensibility, would be good for me.

Sort of like making the scene, but more like widening my sphere of context in the city where I'm living.

I play so many small shows in bars and coffeehouses and on patios that I start to see myself as a person who would only choose these sorts of destinations.

But I know there is so much more to see, so much more to experience in life and in Minneapolis.

So, the money I spent was an investment in myself and my daughter and our visions of ourselves and the world around us.

And it was worth it.

I knew a few people.

I enjoyed the people and the clothes and the show.

I didn't feel that I was with a predictable cross section of this smaller city.

I felt that there were very few, possibly, literally, only one other singer/songwriter was there, a guy I know who loves vintage 1970's fashion and was dressed very cool with his wife.

Mostly it just felt like a Springtime fling of fresh faces, new ideas, beautiful clothes, beautiful concepts.

The clothes are hand made here in Minneapolis at the designer's lovely little dressmaker shop.

Isn't that delightful?

You have to wear something a lot of the time anyway.

You might as well make it good.

I love you.

Have a beautiful Springtime day where ever you are.

being nice

I'm going to be sending love and delight in all emails and all messages and all correspondences and all meetings all day every day for the rest of my living days.

That's my new goal.

Maybe you've been doing that all along.

I wish I had been, but it's never too late.

Being nice was never my thing.

I was raised by two not very nice people.

I offer this not as an excuse but as the beginning of an explanation.

Both of my parents stand out in my mind to me as very interesting people, people who I loved and hated.

And they both could be nice when they wanted to be, but they didn't like fake nice or false small talk.

I guess they didn't like insincerity, but they also just didn't like most people in general, and that was their excuse.

But you can't save the world by watching everybody else and catching them faking love or joy.

You can't save the world by going around catching people being mean to you.

You can save the world by spreading acceptance, compassion, and understanding.

I'm going to be nice 100% of the time.

This may not be easy, but I don't care.

I have nothing else I'd rather be doing.

Love, Courtney

blooming

The Earth is blooming all around us in Minneapolis now.

Yesterday I rode my bicycle all around getting posters printed and then delivering them and hanging them up to advertise this coming Saturday night's show.

Whole trees covered in pink petals! The ground covered in tulips! Daffodils on the hillsides!

How do we deserve such splendor?

We must be loved.

Delight abounds.

Rob, who's house I gratefully inhabit, has given me $60 to set up a little tomato garden in his big backyard.

I rode my bicycle to Mother Earth Garden Shop and looked at the plants yesterday.

Today I'm going back to buy four tomato plants and a bag of the special organic vegetable soil enhancement they sell.

I'm going to cut out a patch of grass in the Sun and start the vegetable garden.

Later today I'm going to work on music with one of my favorite students, who is turning sixteen very soon. She is blossoming into a very wise and beautiful young woman.

Also, one of my new songs was going through my head all day yesterday and I made progress on the lyrics and the melody.

Blooming all around us. 

Joy and abundance.

Also, by nothing short of a miracle, I was offered seven new shows yesterday!

All different things in different places.

I'll add them all to the calendar this morning.

Abundance!

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